How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting World Domination
With their cute little faces and irresistible toe beans, cats really would make the perfect spies. Who would suspect that a cat is plotting world domination? They can slink in and out of practically any location. People either stop to give them all the attention or completely ignore them. They can jump to great heights, and some can even open doors on their own. But how can you tell if your cat and his cute little whiskers are secretly planning to take over the world? We’ve got some tips on how to spot his plans:
He’s Suddenly More Affectionate
If your normally aloof kitty is suddenly all about the snuggles, he might be planning something big. This misdirection can keep you distracted enough to miss out on his nightly Google sessions on world economies and the best way to plan a coup. It might be hard to not melt into a pile of goo when he climbs onto your lap, but don’t let your guard down. He knows how to get to you.
He Suddenly Has a Lot More Friends
Have you looked out the kitchen window and seen your cat “socializing” with other neighborhood felines? They’re not just catching up. These are actually detailed planning sessions. Each cat has a designated area of the neighborhood to overlook. When they come together for their regular meetings, they are sharing this intel and determining the best way to make a move. If you see them setting up a chalkboard and writing out sequences of squiggles, it might already be too late.
He’s Practicing His Ninja Skills
What might look like normal zoomies to you could actually be a hardcore training session. Your cat knows he will need to hone his jumping, sprinting, and chasing skills before he can take over the world. If you use the laser pointer with him for “fun,” you could be contributing to the problem. It’s enabling him to perfect his ability to evade the authorities. This exercise regimen is getting him in shape to succeed with his plan for world domination. Buff kitties are much harder to contain.
He’s Developed a Villain Laugh
Every good villain has a distinctive laugh. Once they’ve achieved world domination status, they suddenly develop an evil laugh they will use when discussing their plans with their minions. If your cat has a villain laugh (especially if used in conjunction with a fancy leather swivel chair), it might be time to move. If you do, make sure to change your appearance and your name. Your cat can still find you, but this might make it a little harder.
As much as we love to joke about our cats and their intentions, the team at Oakland Veterinary Referral Services loves cats and wants to help them achieve optimal health. We’ll leave the world domination to the felines, but we do offer exemplary specialty veterinary services. To learn more or to schedule an appointment, please call (248) 334‑6877.
